First Conference - No Longer a Newbie

So, conferences!!

I finally attended my first SCBWI.

I awoke at an hour I thought I'd escaped when my youngest started sleeping through the night .... and drove to Scottsdale.

It was everything I'd hoped for. Nice people, smart and funny faculty, and I learned things -- lots of great things.

For example, here's something interesting: when you're querying, even if you've never been published, you should be clear that you're querying your 2nd (or 3rd or 4th or whatever) novel. According to John Cusick of Greenhouse Literary, this way an agent can see that you're working on your craft  -- especially if you're querying the same agents. And querying the same agents, he says -- even if they've declined your projects in the past -- is a good thing to do, because it shows you're actually interested in working with those agents.

Yay! Because I was under the impression that since I've never been published, I had to query each novel as my "first" -- even though I'm actually about to start querying my 3rd.

And I was delighted to hear that querying the same agents is ok too. I researched carefully but did not query my entire list with my first novel. I'm a fan of querying in small batches so I can see whether what I'm throwing against the wall will stick. Obviously my first novel needed work, which is why it garnered NO interest and why it is now in the TO BE REVISED pile.

 I was sad when I thought I'd no longer be able to try again with the agents I'd already queried, even though I think my second novel is better, and am hoping my third will be even closer to good.

Another glad tiding: it's ok to get dark with #MG. I've torn apart my current ms because I was afraid I had written too scary. In spite of the likes of Garth Nix and Neil Gaiman, I wondered whether a new author could really get away with don't-turn-out-the-lights stuff.

According to both Jaida Temperly of New Leaf Literary and Alison Weiss of Egmont USA, it's ok. Those of us writing scary and dark -- for Upper MG at least -- are ok. As long as it's good writing, of course.

Again, yay!!

Anyone else out there writing scary right now?

Be Nice

Did you guys sees this?


 



Ugh. Seriously?

First off, I've been fortunate - the people I know in this amazing writing community are all professional and polite.

But every now and then I see agents online saying things like this, from Julia Weber of j. a. weber literaturagentur in Germany:






And I think, really?

And then I think, yah, I guess those people are out there. People who either didn't ever learn what professional behavior looks like or people who let their emotions get ahead of their rational responses.
People who send hate mail or do creepy calling after a rejection, plus the people Ms. Weber is talking about, the ones who ignore the polite requests NOT to call instead of sending a query.

What exactly do they think they'll get in response to their tirades or complaints?

I mean, this? "Oh, that writer was so awful/creepy/weird to me, I think I'll  take him or her on as a client! That kind of behavior surely motivates brilliant writing."

Right.

So even though you all - my readers - are cool people and don't do these things, I have to rant because - argh. The whole thing about one bad apple, you know?

I wanted to say to Ms. Weber, there are so many of us out here toiling at our WiP's and excited for the day we can follow your sub guidelines to show you our work in the hope that we can build a career together.

I'm sure she knows that. But I felt bad for her anyway.

Yes. It's completely humiliating to get rejections, especially lots of them. And as many times as people say it's a subjective business, and you  know it's not personal, you still want to cry and feel like the worst writer in the world. But take it out on the agent?  Please. Don't.

This, in my opinion, is a better coping strategy.

Did anyone else see these posts from Julia Weber? What did you think? 
What other coping strategies do you have for your rejections?