Monday, July 20, 2015

Everything Changes

So for a while, I had a rhythm and it was nice.
I wrote on the weekends and in the mornings when both my kids were in school. I had space to both parent and write, and while it wasn't perfect, (what ever is?) it was pretty workable.

And then we MOVED. Goodbye, Arizona, Hello Virginia. We drove cross country for 6 days and had lots of fun and also some too-much-togetherness, because families.

We arrived and then our stuff arrived and ATE OUR HOUSE. We were buried by boxes

So now I am unpacking and keeping up with all the many moving parts of a transition - emotions, loss, discovery, paperwork, finding all the things that were packed in random boxes. Let me be clear: we're a military family, we move a lot. This isn't new. But it's never easy.

 Also I am unpacking and parenting and tutoring my kids so as not to lose ground during their endless summer vacation. (because of a scheduling difference between states my kids have been out of school since mid May and won't go back until September.)

And I am not writing. Much.  I feel as though one of my lungs has been removed.

But I just can't devote the time I need. My kids need me, my house is still in complete chaos, and my life needs me. The DETAILS of my life need me.

And here's the thing: ZEN has happened.

Because I can't REALLY write like I want to -- for all those reasons -- I have been THINKING and NOODLING and guess what? I have found a new zone. I am feeling patient. (Well, patient for me, which may not look like much to some, but it's pretty amazing from where I sit.) I am feeling focused. I am feeling CAPABLE.

Here's what patience and waiting and the Zen Space have wrought:

  • New story ideas - So Excited to start outlining. I want to do them ALL. NOW.
  • Discovery of a small list of agents to query -- all of whom seem like cool, simpatico people I want to hang out and talk books with.
  • New ideas for tightening, strengthening, and bettering my current WIPs. Ideas that feel RIGHT.
So, yay for enforced down time. It's a new rhythm and not one I asked for but you know the whole thing about closing doors and opening windows. It's true, even if it's sometimes hell in the hallway.

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