Holiday Query Blog Hop -- SPOOKY JANE

Another blog hop critiquing opportunity!! Once again, Michelle Hauck is sponsoring this terrific opportunity to give and get invaluable feedback.

Want to know how it works? Look here:

Here's my REVISED query -- looking forward to making it bright and shiny when I see all your feedback. 

Dear Brilliant Agent,

Twelve-year-old Ivy Jane is thrilled when her family stops moving around and settles in the Minnesota town where her close-knit clan of cousins lives. It’s nice to finally be around people who are like her – they’re a family with the unusual gift of being able to keep anything alive. But even more important is the chance to be in on the inside jokes instead of always the lonely outsider.

But immediately, things get spooky. People standing too close to Ivy suddenly feel sick and have bone-chilling hallucinations. She has walking blackouts where she takes on a different personality – but remembers nothing afterward. She hears voices in her head and because she acts so strange, they’re the only ones talking to her.    

Then the voices actually introduce themselves, which is when she learns she’s not crazy, just the unlucky gateway for some troubled family ghosts. They are the ones in control during Ivy’s blackouts, and through her, they’re growing stronger. But they’re also killing her. The only way to save herself will be to untangle her family’s power over life from its apparent connection to the spirit of death.  But to do that, she’ll need the help of her cousins, who are leery of being around her. Besides, they don’t believe in ghosts.

SPOOKY JANE is an in-progress Upper MG Paranormal. It echoes elements of television’s SLEEPY HOLLOW – written for a younger crowd – and the themes of haunting and family in Mary Downing Hahn’s ALL THE LOVELY BAD ONES. 

Thank you for your time and consideration.

First Page Critique Blog Hop -- SPOOKY JANE

Michelle Hauck is hosting a fun blog hop -- a chance for some feedback on your ever-critical first page. Here's more about it.

Here's mine -- looking forward to your thoughts!!


REVISED:


Upper MG Paranormal 



The day after her grandmother died, twelve-year old Ivy Jane sat alone in the back yard breathing in the unexpected lilacs. They never bloomed in late August.

She shifted slightly on the thick carpet of grass, the muscles in her legs humming slightly from the faint pulse of energy beneath her. Leftover tears thrummed against her throat.

“Dude, you trying to get a suntan or something?”

Ivy opened her eyes and then rolled them theatrically at her once-favorite cousin, now casting his Q-tip shaped shadow over them both.

“Ha ha. Yeah. Cause I need one so bad. And since when did you start calling people ‘dude’?”

“Since I hardly ever see you, I guess there’s lots you don’t know about me anymore.”

“What do you mean, ‘hardly ever see you.’ Wasn’t I with you yesterday?”

“You know what I mean.”

She knew. And Hunter was right. He – and all the rest of her cousins – had changed a lot in the years since she’d last visited, thought Ivy sadly. “I didn’t hear you arrive. Did you walk?”

“Yeah. Sort of. Mom dropped me off at the end of the driveway. She had an errand to run for the open house tomorrow. She said she’d be back to pick up Aunt Eliza so they can go to the funeral home to arrange the service.”

Ivy blanched and kept her eyes on the grass, her right hand absently fingering imaginary piano keys on her thigh.

Pitch Critique - Amy Trueblood

Amy Trueblood is with us today - yay!

For those of you don't, you should go follow her on Twitter: @atrueblood5. She was the "Sun" half of the "Sun vs Snow" contest last month - a terrific contest that resulted in many requests!! She's also part of Operation Awesome. She's a great writer, and equally as important she believes in staying positive - supporting and uplifting our writing community.

So - get your pitches in! First 10 get critiqued.
After Amy is finished with her round, feel free to comment as well. The more the merrier!

Here's how this works:

1) Post your pitch in the comments section.  Tell us your genre: YA, MG, or NA. And for reference, tell us your ms title.
2) The first 10 to post will get a critique from Amy. As I said, after she leaves feedback, I hope others will leave feedback as well - the more the merrier.
3) Use the "reply" button to do this rather than making a new comment - I am hoping that will help us keep the feedback organized and easy to follow. Just to be sure, reference the ms title you're critiquing to minimize potential for mix up!
3) As always, please keep your feedback constructive, not mean.

For those of you polishing pitches for #PitchMadness Clue Edition hosted by Brenda Drake, Sharon Johnston, Summer Heacock, and Rebecca Weston, the contest rules and info are HERE .

Pitch Critique - SC Author

I'm so psyched - today we've got SC Author in the house!

For those of you don't, you should go follow him on Twitter: @SC Author. He's part of the team that runs the Query Kombat contest, and he just ran the very helpful Become An Agent contest and its following workshop.

I know he's a great CP because he looked at my query for me and had excellent advice.

So - get your pitches in! First 10 get critiqued.
After SC Author is finished with his round, feel free to comment as well. The more the merrier!

Here's how this works:

1) Post your pitch in the comments section.  Tell us your genre: YA, MG, or NA. And for reference, tell us your ms title.
2) The first 10 to post will get a critique from SC Author. As I said, after he leaves feedback, I hope others will leave feedback as well - the more the merrier.
3) Use the "reply" button to do this rather than making a new comment - I am hoping that will help us keep the feedback organized and easy to follow. Just to be sure, reference the ms title you're critiquing to minimize potential for mix up!
3) As always, please keep your feedback constructive, not mean.

For those of you polishing pitches for #PitchMadness Clue Edition hosted by Brenda Drake, Sharon Johnston, Summer Heacock, and Rebecca Weston, the contest rules and info are HERE .

Guest Critiquers Announcement

Getting ready for #PitchMadness?
Planning to be part of the next Twitter pitch party?
Think you might sign up for an agent pitch session at the next conference you attend?

Don't wait until the last minute to get your pitch in order. There's always a good reason to have a good pitch for each ms you're querying.  I even think it's a good idea to have a working pitch for WiPs -- keeps you focused.

I'm excited to tell you that for 3 days this week, we'll have the benefit of some amazing guest critiquers looking at our pitches.
Each guest will critique 10 Pitches - the first 10 to post on his or her day.



Wednesday: @SC Author
Thursday: Amy Trueblood (@atrueblood5)
Saturday: Michelle Hauck (@Michelle4Laughs)

Here's how this works:

1) Post your pitch in the comments section.  Tell us your genre: YA, MG, or NA. And for reference, tell us your ms title.
2) The first 10 to post will get a critique from the guest critiquer of the day. After our guest leaves feedback, I hope others will leave feedback as well - the more the merrier.
3) Use the "reply" button to do this rather than making a new comment - I am hoping that will help us keep the feedback organized and easy to follow. Just to be sure, reference the ms title you're critiquing to minimize potential for mixup!
3) As always, please keep your feedback constructive, not mean.

Wednesday Critiques begin at 11am EST. Not before.


For those of you specifically prepping for the upcoming #PitchMadness Clue Edition hosted by Brenda Drake, Sharon Johnston, Summer Heacock, and Rebecca Weston, the contest rules and info are HERE .

See you soon!