Time for some pitch work!
It's always a good idea to have a good pitch for whatever you're querying. I even think it's a good idea to have a pitch for WiPs -- keeps you focused.
ANYWAY - this workshop was inspired by the upcoming #PitchMadness Clue Edition, the hosted by Brenda Drake, Sharon Johnston, Summer Heacock, and Rebecca Weston.
In case you're not familiar with the contest or need to remind yourself of the rules, I'll give you a second to go HERE to refresh yourselves.
Ok - so now you know you'll need a 35 word (max.) pitch. NEVER easy but totally doable.
Here's how this works:
1) Post your pitch in the comments section. Tell us your genre: YA, MG, or NA. And for reference, tell us your ms title.
2) While you're here, share the love -- provide feedback on other pitches already posted. Use the "reply" button to do this rather than making a new comment - I am hoping that will help us keep the feedback organized and easy to follow. Just to be sure, reference the ms title you're critiquing to minimize potential for mixup!
3) As always, please keep your feedback constructive, not mean.
4) I'll keep this running until March 10, when #PitchMadness opens.
Looking forward to some great feedback!
Incan temples, murder, radical science. Two teens are suddenly psychic and discover they’re pawns in an old feud now reignited. To survive, they must run from snowy Minnesota to Peru and derail a deadly conspiracy.
ReplyDeleteWoops, didn't even follow my own rules. YA, EXQUISITE SENSES
DeleteI like suspense. :)
DeleteTwo newly psychic teens? Two suddenly psychic teens? discover they're pawns in an old feud now reignited. (Can you describe 'old'. We talking centuries? Is this sci-fi?
And derail a international? (just want something more than deadly to show the proportion because you already mention to survive they must do this so the adjective for the conspiracy can be different.)
Hope this helps! Good luck.
I was lost right from the beginning because I have no idea what Incan temples are :)
DeleteAdult Suspense/THE SPACE BETWEEN
ReplyDeleteWhen dedicated DEA agent Ellis fails to save her partner’s life during a botched drug-buy, Ellis tracks the killer. However she ends up on the wrong side of the gun and neck-deep in betrayal.
I think you can cut "when dedicated" - start right at "DEA agent" - also might consider dropping the "botched drug buy". The part I want to know more about is the betrayal-.
Delete"When DEA agent searches for her partner's killer ....."
Someone she knows is going to kill her? Someone her partner knew? Same person who's betraying?
I know - a lot to cram into 35 words!!!
Good luck - I remember this from Becomeanagent (I think?) it's good!
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ReplyDeleteLove it - a grownup Freaky Friday! What's missing here is stakes. I know how hard it is to say it all in 35 words, but unfortunately if there are no stakes, it's less compelling. They wish they could switch places because their marriage is in trouble? and if they don't understand each other better it will fail? Or their kids will hate them?
DeleteI think you can make room for a detail more if you collapse the first two sentences:
One night, unhappily married Chris and Amanda find they've (Magically? Randomly? Mysteriously?) switched places. Amanda is the workaholic detached daddy, Chris is the frustrated SAHM.(22 words) - What can you add in 12 more words?
Hope this helps - sounds like a good read!
Good luck.
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DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteYA Sci-Fi
ReplyDeleteWhen Alex undertakes an internship with the Xavier Corporation, the last thing she expects is to be risking her future career to help a sentient cyborg, named Zentis, escape the iron-fist control of his creators.