For those of us who didn't make it this time: you've heard it before, but I'm going to repeat:
Don't. Give. Up.
(I say that as much for myself as everyone else). It's tempting to feel fatally discouraged, but,
Don't.
Just Keep Writing, Keep Querying.
As we all know, the #PitchMadness feed during the slush read was a treasure trove of good advice, but sometimes hard to follow because there were so many other conversations happening simultaneously.
L.L. McKinney - otherwise known as @Tangynt - graciously agreed to distill some of her thoughts for us.
Before I get started, want to be clear that anything said is my personal viewpoint on the matter. I am no expert of final authority in any case, and my opinions are my own.
1) What were the top 5
problems/weaknesses you saw in pitches?
Vague phrases or terms that don't give the
reader a sense of the story. Saying the character has to face evil, defeat
darkness, will risk it all, discover mysterious pasts or secrets tells the
reader nothing. This goes for saying someone's world was turned upside
down/rocked, or their lives will "never be the same" as well. These describe
almost every book ever written in some way. Trying to be mysterious often
results in being unclear, confusing, or downright boring. Details set stories
apart.
No mention of the stakes. What does the
character have to lose if they don't take action? Saying a character must solve
a mystery, uncover a truth, discover what it means to be loved, unlock their
past, is only part of the equation. That's the setup, and people tended to stop
there. Follow through! Tell the reader WHY all of this happens.They why is often
the draw.
Too much/little information. Everything in
moderation and all of that. The pitch is to hook the reader and provide a glimpse of what the book is about, not tell
the whole story. Manuscripts are complex things with colorful casts, complex
plots, and interlocking subplots, but all of that cannot be squeezed into a
pitch and folks shouldn't even try. Pick the MAIN conflict and goal and focus on
that. The rest will be revealed when the book is read. On the flip side, there's
a balance to these things and not giving enough info is just as bad as packing
it in too tight. Refer to the previous statement about trying to be
mysterious.
Rhetorical questions. Sometimes they work, most
of the time they don't. Especially if said question is put to the reader in a
"what if you/your" phrasing. "What if you met the love of your life one night
but didn't get his name or number?" Firstly, I know exactly what I would do, so
ends any mystery about it all. Secondly, this isn't about me, it's about this
character, who I now know nothing about.
This meets That pitches. Comparisons are great,
don't get me wrong, but if I've not read the book or seen the show/movie, I have
no idea what to think of a manuscript. Using widely known stories for comparison
will help. Some agents/editors auto-reject if a current worldwide bestseller is
used, say The Mortal Instruments meets The Hunger Games. This doesn't bother me
personally, but to avoid said auto-reject try substituting a popular story for
one that's well known. Buffy meets
Thunderdome for instance. Both are well known, but neither are part of any
current trend fever.
2) Top 5 problems/weaknesses in
first 250?
Passive voice. The ball was thrown: passive. He
threw the ball: active. It can be taken further with verb choice. He
hurled/chucked/lobbed/tossed/flung the ball.
They were standing in the hall:
passive. They stood in the hall: active. Verb choice, they
milled/gathered/congregated in the hall.
Research passive and active
voice to get rid of the former and better utilize the latter.
Telling instead of showing. Saying a
character is scared, or embarrassed, or angry doesn't pain a picture for the
reader. Show them trembling as they crouch in a corner, heat branding their face
while they can't make eye contact, or their fingers curl into fists as their jaw
clenches around a curse.The same works for setting. "It's cold" should be icy
temperatures biting exposed skin or eating through layers of cloth.
Vocabulary unique to the world or
story that isn't explained. This was a big thing with fantasy and science
fiction stories more than others. Made up words and such is totally fine, but
without context clues to help the reader understand what's going on/being said,
the story may as well be written in another language altogether. That goes for
steampunk and such as well.
Prose in need of tightening. The
internet is full of lists containing ugly/fluff words unnecessary in writing.
They take up space and slow the pace. For instance:
"She blinked her eyes as she backed away from him, certain that he was the one who killed those other women."
"She recoiled, certain he'd killed those women."
The sentence is physically shorter and reads quicker.
Info dumping was another issue. This
can cover a lot of things, but I'll focus on two that cropped up the most, in my
opinion: Lots of description, and background information.
Personally, I don't need a paragraph containing every detail of the
character's appearance on the first page. Hair color and length, eye color,
height, weight, etc., work that stuff in as you go along, and those aren't the
important bits in this moment. Give me a name, gender, where they are, how old
they are, and who they're with. Those last two can even come a little later, but
not too far.
Keep in mind how any time taken to describe something or someone is time
taken from the action. Imagine watching a movie, and it's getting good. You're
on the edge of your seat, attention rapt. Then the person you're watching the
movie with pauses it to point out/explain something about the character, or the
setting, or how this guy is like this because blah-blah-blah happened to him in
the past.
I've gone into full blown melt-your-face mode on people for pulling me out
of the story/world with stunts like that. Am I going to miss anything without
their explanation? Is the information they have to share that important right now? Half the time the
explanation given is something like "But I want to make sure you understood what
was going on so you wouldn't miss the big picture." Thanks, but I got
it.
3) Since we learn so much about
our own writing when critiquing others, did you have any special "aha" moments
that made you want to go back and edit something in your current WiPs?
Nothing in particular. I tend
to go back and look for everything I mentioned and more when editing
because--whether folks like to admit it or not--all ten of those issues crop up
in first drafts. I'm sure I have loads of unique vocab I haven't properly
explained, passive voice, or prose that needs tightening and what not in my
current WIP. Rounds of editing and revision help smooth that out.
4) What was your favorite part
of doing the slush reading?
Saying yes. And not just yes
but omg, this right here, pick it pick it PICK IT!
THANK YOU so much for your time, @tangynt!!
About L.L. McKinney:
Fantasy is my first love, particularly urban fantasy. There’s nothing like imagining the impossible happening right here at home. Though science fiction is a close second.
Very close.
About me, let’s see, I’m a freelance writer, a published poet, and a core member of Novel Clique, a writers group that meets weekly here in the Midwest. I’m also a member of YA Lit Chat, and an affiliate member of the Oklahoma Writers Federation, Inc. via Midwest Pen and Ink. So many groups and clubs, almost makes me sound social, doesn’t it?
What else, I live the single life in Kansas, surrounded by more nieces and nephews than I know what to do with. I write for the joy of it, and when it is time for my voice to be heard, God will provide the means.
He always has.
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